| Language And
Influence – NLP For Managers, Coaches, Sales
Professionals, Team Leaders And Trainers |
| |
|
WordPower:
Taming Your Not(s)
Perhaps you've already discovered that
‘you can't not
think about something without thinking about it first?’ |
| How many times
have you made a special point of asking someone to ‘not’ do something?
|
Like reminding your spouse ...
“Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.” |
Or cautioning a small child ...
“Don't spill the milk.” |
Or telling a teenager ...
“Don't forget to put out the garbage.” |
Or advising a client ...
“Don't worry about the delivery on this product.” |
| And what usually happens? |
| Since you ‘can't not
think about something without thinking about it first’ when you
tell someone to ‘not’ do something, the
listener has to think about doing the behaviour first, to be able to think
of ‘not’ doing it - to add the ‘not’. |
|
The
unconscious mind often misses this translation and responds by acting on the
initial thought. |
So when you say ...
“Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”
Their
unconscious hears ...
“Forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”
And they usually do. |
The child who is told ...
“Don't spill the milk.”
Hears ...
“Spill the milk”
And
complies. |
|
And whatever
it was you told the client ‘not’ to worry
about? How often does that become the very thing the client worries
about most? |
| One Solution
Is ... |
| One solution to all of this is to make a habit of telling people
what you
want them to do, instead of what you don't want. |
| “Remember to pick up
the dry cleaning.” |
| “Carry the milk
carefully.” |
| “Remember to put out
the garbage.” |
“You can feel
confident that our deliveries are always
on time.” |
|
Become a Power User of Not
(negative forms of verbs) |
| You may also choose to become a ‘power user’ of the negative forms of
verbs. Begin to use not, never, can't, won't and
don't to assist others by helping them create positive mental images
that will assist them to achieve their outcomes. |
Instead of saying ...
“I
know it is a difficult task.”
Use
“I know it's not an easy task.” |
“This is going to
hurt a little"
Becomes
“This isn't going to be
totally comfortable.” |
“It is going to take
longer than we thought"
Translates to
“It's not going to be
a quick as we hoped.” |
| The statements are technically true and they invite the listener to
create a positive internal image instead of dwelling on the less attractive
aspects of a situation.
This is a great antidote for people are inclined to ‘awful-ize’—make
things sound worse than they are. You may be
amazed at how well it works. |
|
And after you've tamed
your not(s) ...please read on,
because there is something I'd like to share with you. Research on the word ‘because’ and
the amazing power it has to increase
acceptance for your message. |
Continues here
Because!
Also see
Word
Power
For more Word Power visit our site:
www.nlpbusinessresources.com
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