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Language And Influence – NLP For Managers, Coaches, Sales Professionals, Team Leaders And Trainers
WordPower: Taming Your Not(s)

Perhaps you've already discovered that you can't not think about something without thinking about it first?

How many times have you made a special point of asking someone to not do something?
Like reminding your spouse ...
Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.
Or cautioning a small child ...
Don't spill the milk.
Or telling a teenager ...
Don't forget to put out the garbage.
Or advising a client ...
Don't worry about the delivery on this product.
And what usually happens?
Since you can't not think about something without thinking about it first when you tell someone to not do something, the listener has to think about doing the behaviour first, to be able to think of not doing it - to add the not’.
The unconscious mind often misses this translation and responds by acting on the initial thought.
So when you say ...
Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”
Their unconscious hears ...
Forget to pick up the dry cleaning.
 And they usually do.
The child who is told ...
Don't spill the milk.
Hears ...
Spill the milk
 And complies.
And whatever it was you told the client ‘not’ to worry about? How often does that become the very thing the client worries about most?
One Solution Is ...
One solution to all of this is to make a habit of telling people what you want them to do, instead of what you don't want.
Remember to pick up the dry cleaning.
Carry the milk carefully.
Remember to put out the garbage.
You can feel confident that our deliveries are always
  on time.
Become a Power User of Not  (negative forms of verbs)
You may also choose to become a power user of the negative forms of verbs. Begin to use not, never, can't, won't and don't to assist others by helping them create positive mental images that will assist them to achieve  their outcomes.
Instead of saying ...
I know it is a difficult task.”
I know it's not an easy task.
This is going to hurt a little"
This isn't going to be totally comfortable.
It is going to take longer than we thought"
Translates to
It's not going to be a quick as we hoped.
The statements are technically true and they invite the listener to create a positive internal image instead of dwelling on the less attractive aspects of a situation.

This is a great antidote for people are inclined to awful-ize—make things sound worse than they are.  You may be amazed at how well it works.

And after you've tamed your not(s) ...please read on, because there is something I'd like to share with you.  Research on the word ‘because’ and the amazing power it has to increase acceptance for your message.
Continues here Because!  Also see Word Power
For more Word Power visit our site: 

Creating a path for change ...

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